Updating throughout the weekend so you can plan accordingly.
On Instagram...
Saturday, October 31, 2015
16 Celebrity Instagrams You Need To See This Week
Here’s what went down on the ‘gram this week.
Justin Bieber got into the Halloween spirit.
Drake wasn't having it.
Kim Kardashian showed off her Frozen girls.
Chrissy Teigen craved the pebbles.
13 People They Should Cast In The New All-Female "Ocean's Eleven"
Sandra Bullock is reportedly starring in an all-female reboot of Ocean’s Eleven directed by The Hunger Games’ Gary Ross. Here’s our vision for the cast.
Kevin Winter / Getty Images
Warner Bros.
The Most Fab And Drab Celebrity Looks Of The Week
You voted — here are the results.
5. Ellie Goulding Attends The 2015 MTV EMAs
With 489 "Fab" votes.
Anthony Harvey / Getty Images
4. Ashley Benson Attends The 2015 MTV EMAs
With 569 "Fab" votes.
Anthony Harvey / Getty Images
Friday, October 30, 2015
The "Today" Show's "Peanuts" Costumes Will Scare The Crap Out Of You
Good grief.
Everyone who had a childhood knows the Peanuts gang is absolutely adorable. Seriously, Snoopy, Charlie Brown, and friends are like the original #SquadGoals.
Universal Uclick / Via huffingtonpost.com
So Peanuts would make for an excellent Halloween costume theme, right? Lovable cartoon characters? Awesome! So that's why the Today show cast decided to rock costumes inspired by the cartoon on this morning's broadcast.
Cindy Ord / Getty Images
This Is Amber Rose's World And We're Lucky To Be Living In It
Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed
On October 27th in the year of our Lord 312, Constantine the Great was converted to Christianity by a heavenly vision at Battle of the Milvian Bridge. According to the legend, a fiery cross appeared in the skies above with the message “Εν Τούτῳ Νίκα” (“In this sign you shall conquer”) emblazoned across it. The vision immediately fortified him, setting him on a path to victory and to an empire the likes of which the world had never seen. On October 27th of 2015, the world bore witness to a similar event that will surely change the course of history. On that blessed day, Amber Rose released How to Be a Bad Bitch. To call this debut book of instructions on how to fucking live your life right for once anything short of a miracle would be falsehood — NAY — heresy.
Gallery Books
The model/entrepreneur/muse/activist/prolific taker of butt selfies addresses her readers as friends and familiars and makes her intentions for us clear early, “I want to help you be the baddest bitches ever.” That familiarity is why I feel like it’s fine for me to refer to her just as Amber for the remainder of this essay. Also because that’s already how I think of her when I’m imagining us as the goddamn best of friends whose selfies together are what could actually make America great again, but I digress. This transformation starts with developing a vision of yourself and your life and then very deliberately taking steps to make it a reality. In her words, “Figure out who this bitch is.” Between stories from her life and tips from her routine, HTBABB is sprinkled with direct encouragement, because Amber knows us and loves us and wants us to be happy.
This may come as a shock to some, but I came to HTBABB with my own preconceived notions about Amber. Specifically, the notion that she is an infallible goddess choosing to grace us mere mortals with her presence because she is as benevolent as she is beautiful. I count myself among the ranks of her die-hard fans, affectionately called “Rosebuds” to her self-described “Muva.” But since every rose has its thorn, there is also a veritable army of detractors and shit-talkers littering our lovefest with hateful bile against Amber on social media and beyond. Fortunately, she lays out precisely how to handle such detractors in her chapter devoted to fashion: “If someone doesn’t understand or accept who you are, fuck them.” Figuratively, of course. She gets into the people you should literally fuck in later chapters on dating and relationships because this book has everything.
"If someone doesn’t understand or accept who you are, fuck them."
Amber pulls no punches. Her advice is direct, laden with swears, and highlighted with explicit imagery like her description of how women’s eyes bug out of their heads when they blow a guy or how getting laid isn’t that hard because “a guy will stick his dick in a block of Swiss cheese.” You’ve got problems and she’s got solutions. A guy doesn’t want to use a condom? “…Tell him to go fuck himself.” Can’t afford fancy cosmetics? “Go wild at the drugstore for way less money.” Ridiculous standards in magazines got you feeling like you’ll never be beautiful or stylish? “Fuck that. No more.” You want to know where your date stands on having kids and it’s only the third date? “…As far as I’m concerned, you should feel it’s your right to bring it up on the first date.” Wondering if it’s ever OK to fuck around with a guy who’s attached? “Never. Hell, no.”
While the book is full of photos of Amber’s curves, I couldn’t help but see all the parallels. To my life, that is. Amber and I both worked as strippers and aren’t ashamed of it. We both have ex-boyfriends who used that piece of our pasts against us. My skull shape is weird and I look too much like a grown Cabbage Patch Kid to shave my head, but we both came into our own when we went platinum blonde. And though mine won’t sell nearly as many copies, I also sold a book this year in which I repackage a lot of suffering into something I hope is helpful to other women whom the world has conspired to convince are something less than they are.
It is because of that suffering that I write this essay with such hyperbolic joy. This essay is so exuberant in its praise not just to be silly but to serve as an antidote to the poison spewed in Amber’s direction over the seven years that she’s been in the spotlight and at countless other women with similar backgrounds. Disappointingly, much of this venom comes from self-described feminists. They claim she has no particular talents, ignoring her business acumen and activism and dismissing her as famous only because of dating Kanye West after only a brief foray into modeling and music videos. It’s funny, I don’t see many people screeching about how Kate Moss is famous only because of how she’s monetized her image and body. I don’t hear cries of injustice that Liv Tyler was “just a video girl” when she was starring in Aerosmith's "Crazy" in the 1990s. Kate Middleton — what the fuck did she do but date and marry someone famous?
Amber Rose is precisely the kind of woman who ought to be benefiting the most from feminism because she lives its values and proves it can work.
The real reason she is so derided is that Amber Rose is a woman of color from a poor household in a working-class neighborhood who relied on her erotic labor to survive as a young woman, the kind of profile that makes her more conveniently into a talking point than a spokesperson. When she transitioned to modeling and music videos, it was for hip-hop brands and musicians deemed illegitimate or invisible by virtue of their proximity to blackness. Then, when she was attacked in media, she harnessed control of her image and repurposed the insults into shorthands for royalty. Instead of cowering or growing mean, she became a force of positivity. She beat their fucking swords into ploughshares and she is reaping the shit out of that harvest. The truth is, Amber Rose is precisely the kind of woman who ought to be benefiting the most from feminism because she lives its values and proves it can work. But that truth must be silenced because there are too many fragile men and mainstream media assholes and white feminists with the privilege to have only had to theorize over the concept of erotic labor rather than perform it who are terrified that some stripper from South Philly might know a thing or two more about navigating and uplifting womanhood than any of them.
It is that tidal wave of shit that people keep hurling at Amber Rose that compels me to erect this bombastic little monument to her brilliance. As far as I am concerned, she hung the moon and stars. Her voice is the pitter-patter of cherubs skipping across iridescent lily pads and her body is Eden made flesh. She is as intelligent as she is seductive, a genius and goddess in one. And I fully believe that as the parade of hate inevitably marches on in her life, she will continue to inspire girls and women who are slowly being crushed by similar cruelty because she will wave off their hate and choose to embrace love. And in that sign she will conquer.
***
Alana Massey is a writer in Brooklyn, NY working at the forefront of Feelings Journalism. Her book, All the Lives I Want, is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing. She tweets at @alanamassey.
Kelly Ripa As Katy Perry Might Be Better Than Katy Perry As Katy Perry
Kelly Perry for the win.
For the Halloween episode of Live With Kelly And Michael, Michael dressed up as Katy Perry's infamous left shark during her Superbowl performance while Kelly dressed up as Katy herself...
Laura Cavanaugh / Getty Images
...And I have to admit, she's almost a better Katy Perry than Katy Perry herself.
Laura Cavanaugh / Getty Images
*Comes for Katy's wig*
Laura Cavanaugh / Getty Images
*Successfully snatches it*
Laura Cavanaugh / Getty Images
9 Celebrities As Zombies And Some Undead Fiction
All your faves are zombies.
When I was in fifth or sixth grade I used to write really weird thrillers --- think R.L. Stine's Fear Street series, but written by a kid --- and read them to my class.
Anyway, I was no Tina Belcher --- I'm still not --- but I figured why not be the young me I used to be and write some zombie fiction.
FOX / the-teen-wonder.tumblr.com
Will Varner / PER/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
Per / PER/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
People Are Furious With Billboard For "Sexualizing" North West
Many believe Billboard’s now-deleted tweet was comparing North West licking to a lollipop to a scene from Kim Kardashian’s sex tape.
Late Thursday night Billboard posted this tweet, which users believe was sexualizing North West.
The story was actually about the 2-year-old talking back to the paparazzi, but many felt like the tweet alluded to her mother's sex tape.
Ever Wondered What "Scandal" Would Look Like Set In High School?
XOXO Olivia Pope.
No human person who has born witness to TGIT would ever dare tell you that Scandal is not 100% batshit cray.
Often in the best of ways.
ABC
On a recent episode of Jimmy Kimmel, the cast of Scandal took those qualities and spun them off into the next logical space. Y'know....high school.
ABC
Hunter Ulysses Whitman has a rivalry/best friendship with Tanner MacArthur that may or may not end in BETRAYAL AND INTRIGUE.
As one does.
ABC
Meanwhile, computer geek Nosef and goth princess Jenica can't decide if their relationship is truly dramatic or just...like, fine?
ABC
Here's What Ariana Grande Really Means When She Sings "Focus On Me"
“When I say ‘focus on me’ I’m not asking to be the center of attention.”
It’s here! After months — literally months — of hype, Ariana Grande finally released her new single, “Focus,” last night.
Republic Records / Via instagram.com
The track is a brassy, "Problem"-esque banger with Ariana commanding the listener to "focus on me" in her trademark melismatic way.
While, on first listen, the song sounds like a warning to an ungrateful lover, "Focus" is actually intended to be an anthem of acceptance and empowerment.
ArianaGrandeVEVO
"When I say 'focus on me' I'm not asking to be the center of attention," Ariana explained in a vlog earlier this month. "I'm not asking for you to focus on my clothes or my face or my body or my singing voice."
Ellen Degeneres Dressed Up As A Kardashian For Halloween
“Karla Kardashian” to be exact. A new sister!
This year Ellen dressed up as a Kardashian for Halloween.
Not just any Kardashian, though. Ellen revealed her costume as she aired the latest Keeping Up With The Kardashians promo... with a special addition.
Ellen / youtube.com
A new sister, ~Karla~ Kardashian.
Ellen / youtube.com
She's the youngest (and largely unknown) sister.
Ellen / youtube.com
Will Forte Does Not Have A Poop Beard
One man tests his beard for fecal matter, the rest of the world takes a sigh of relief.
Anyone who's seen Last Man On Earth knows that Will Forte sports a long beard on the show, and because a beard is new for him, he set out to test what exactly lives inside.
NBC / youtube.com
He found the best doctor in the biz...
NBC / youtube.com
43 Times Tracee Ellis Ross Was So Flawless We Couldn't Deal
An ode to the style queen on her 43rd birthday.
When she turned a parking lot into her runway.
When she literally out-shinned artwork.
Every time she embraces her inner trap queen.
Fondly known as T-Murda.
Can We Guess Why Justin Bieber Is Apologising To You?
It’s never too late to say sorry, Justin.
Giuseppe Cacace / Getty Images / Via Patrick Campbell / BuzzFeed
Thursday, October 29, 2015
11 Celebrity #TBT Photos You May Have Missed This Week
Taylor Swift dressed up as the Yellow Teletubby kicks off this week’s #ThrowbackThursday.
Taylor Swift shared this cute photo of herself dressed up like Laa-Laa the Teletubby and apparently, by the looks of this photo, was taken in the 1950s.
Amy Schumer was once an adorable witch in the '80s:
Mariah Carey took us back to 2003, when she dressed up as an elusive mermaid.
Can You Make It Through These GIFs Of Smiling Actors Without Squealing?
I couldn’t.
Oh, hey Chris Evans.
How ya doing, Suraj Sharma?
I'm sure you're FINE, Zefron.
Michael Fassbender, you sure know what's up.
Holy Shit This Guy Looks Exactly Like A Young Leonardo DiCaprio
What the hell is going on here????
Here's a picture of somebody that is not Leonardo DiCaprio but honestly could be if you have glasses with a very slight prescription, but aren't wearing them right now.
This guy — who again, is NOT Leonardo DiCaprio — is just someone named Konrad.
Again, this is not Leo. This is Konrad.
Who just happens to be a living, breathing, reincarnation of 1996 Leonardo DiCaprio.
Justin Bieber Stormed Off Stage Because His Fans Wouldn't Let Him Wipe The Floor
Maybe it’s promo for his new single “Sorry”?
Everything went down after Bieber tried to wipe the stage with a flannel but his fans kept grabbing it, thus preventing Bieber from being able to complete his wiping.
After Bieber repeatedly told them to stop, the fans kept grabbing so he told them he was "done" and that he "wasn't going to do a show."
17 Times Pop Culture Gave A Nod To HBCUs
Music, movies, and your favorite television shows.
Tons of schools have gotten recognized in pop culture, and it's an amazing feeling when you see your school repped in a show you love or by a celeb you admire.
NBC Productions / freshprinceofbelairgifs.tumblr.com
Like when real HBCU bands competed in Drumline.
Don't try to lie and say this wasn't your favorite movie at some point. Nick Cannon's character Devon Miles plays drums for fictional HBCU Atlanta A&T University, but a number of actual HBCU bands compete in the climax of the film, including Grambling State University, Morris Brown College, and Clark Atlanta University.
Fox 2000 Pictures / vh1.tumblr.com
Or when Hollywood madeThe Great Debaters.
Based on the true story of Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College who inspired students to form the school's first debate team, the movie follows a group of HBCU students as they compete against various schools before defeating Harvard. In real life, however, the team did not compete against Harvard in the national championship but the University of Southern California, which they defeated.
David Lee / AP
Eric Stonestreet Can’t Handle This Scary AF Haunted House
He can send all his thanks to Ellen.
This is Eric Stonestreet.
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
This is Eric Stonestreet in a haunted house.
Ellen TV / Via youtube.com
Ellen DeGenerous kindly sent the Modern Family star and her executive producer, Andy Lassner, through a terrifying haunted house just for funsies.
And, well, the result was a frantic Stonestreet hilariously screaming, cursing, and pushing his way through the Halloween danger zone.
Ellen TV / Via youtube.com
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